I don't know where I'm going with this...

[wickedcherub]

I have never been bullied.

A bunch of girls in 4th grade decided not to be friends with me anymore one day, so I went and hung out with the 'uncool' group, and well, we're all still friends. I don't even think I was sad about it, they weren't even my sort of people, I was just friends with them because they were 'cool'.

I remember three different moments in my life where my physical appearance was commented upon by a peer and found wanting.
1. 6th grade, a friend of mine patted my stomach and said 'ooh, getting a belly'. I didn't realise that I had a bit of a belly (which I did), but since I always had it, it didn't really faze me.
2. 10th grade, a girl sitting behind me at Vietnamese school stared at my legs for absolutely ages, and looked up and asked me if I shaved. When I answered to the contrary, she said, "oh, no wonder." I was always aware of my hairy legs, but I didn't think it was necessary to add to my hygiene routine yet. I thought about it, but didn't do anything about it until 12th grade.
3. 12th grade, a girl in my class wondered why my mouth was always open (my mouth doesn't close properly when resting, I don't know, my teeth or something, it's weird) and commented that I had hair on my upper lip. Again, I was always aware of it, was just too lazy to actually deal with it. I think I started to get rid of it when I started shaving my legs.

Now, my life was probably made easier by the fact that I went to some airy fairy girls school where no makeup was allowed and everyone's hair had to be tied up using a blue ribbon and I remember crowding a 12th grade girl at the back of the school bus when I was in 10th grade because she had her eyebrows done for the first time for the senior formal (and man was she self conscious about it!)

I self identified as a nerd/geek, but I have all but four of my entire senior year at school friended on Facebook. FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE.
I had my fair share of stalkery teenage boys asking me out. I had a boyfriend. I never had an issue with sex/sexual exploration, I knew what I wanted and what I didn't want. I never felt ashamed of what I got up to or felt like I needed to get up to more, and freely discussed things with my friends.

I've never been peer pressured.

I don't really suffer from any real anxiety or depression. I don't have low self esteem.
I went to a 21st party one year and everyone at that party was *beautiful*. They were thin, they were sexy, and I was downright fat and frumpy by comparison. I was even wearing my mother's clothes and this was at a club. I came home in the early hours so upset and drained from it all that I called silverthoughts in Hong Kong that night (and I never call her), and she didn't answer because she found out that her mum had cancer that night. Yeah, you know, I never had an issue with self esteem after that. Like, my body just went 'Huh. REALLY TRIVIAL ISSUE THERE, TINA' and never cared about it ever again.

I got involved with the manipulative, verbally abusive flip_doubt when I was 22, but I still think that was necessary in a way, to my life; I learnt so much from it.

I think where I'm going with this is is sometimes I really don't understand all the problems, sadness, mental illnesses that I see on my LJ and especially my Tumblr. I feel like I can't offer any advice to the younger set because, well, what do I know?

I worry that my rainbows and unicorns experience in high school means that I will be a bad teacher when I start working - because I will have no idea what it's like for the average high school student.

Comments

[mrsmdub.livejournal.com]

Many of us don't "get" our students for a variety of reasons, but it works out. With time, you begin to "get" them just because you've seen so many like them before.

[silkygecko.livejournal.com]

The thing to remember about the internet, especially LJ and tumblr and blogs, is that there is a disproportionately high number of people with mental health issues that use them... just IMO. I've just found that there are a lot of people with anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc on LJ, and it can sometimes feel like almost everyone has some of these issues, but that's not really representative of society.... but LJ/tumblr are ways for people who have a hard time connecting to others to connect in a safe way. So basically, your rainbows and unicorns experience in high school is probably more similar to what other kids are experienceing than you may realize. Don't worry.. you will be a great teacher.

[ms-hecubus.livejournal.com]

Really, your high school experience was a lot more similar to my high school experience than some of the horror stories you hear. I was a "weird" kid, but was actually kind of popular because of it. I got comments, but not too many and was friendly with almost everyone.

Weird as in punk rock/new romantics/new wave kind of weird. It was the 80s.

[ourspacesongs.livejournal.com]

I don't think any of this means you weren't necessarily an "average" high school student, a lot of people make it through high school relatively unscathed. I mean, I wouldn't go back to high school for any amount of money but nothing really awful happened while I was there, it was just kind of an awkward time in my life.

I'm not a teacher obviously, but I think that you don't necessarily have to have personally experienced things your students are going through to be sympathetic and help them, and the fact that you navigated everything so successfully probably means you were doing something right then, so maybe you can pass those things on to your students?

[science-of-life.livejournal.com]

I agree with what has been said above - I think you had a pretty average high school experience. Mine was much the same! I also can't relate or offer advice to people who have anxiety, depression or other mental health issues. I've been fortunate enough to never experience any. And despite being really, really fat once upon on time, I never really had any self esteem issues... Yes, I did have weight loss surgery but that was for health reasons rather than me having some need to be skinny!

I think you'll make a great teacher!