some 'next baby' worries

[wickedcherub]

We forwent (is that even a word?) the Down's Syndrome test last time because we felt that they could only give us a probability for Down's and I didn't want to have to make any decisions. Plus I am young and healthy and it was unlikely to happen.

This time around though, I think I'm more likely to want to know. I don't know - maybe I felt like I could deal with a child with Down's if I only had one child? And all the time I would spend on a second child with Down's wouldn't be fair on Liam.

And really, how high a probability would you have to have before you (or I, rather) would decide to abort?

You know what I'm actually genuinely terrified of though? Twins. I'm pretty sure I just don't have it in me to emotionally, physically, financially support twins. Especially with Liam. Lots of people have done it, bluedano is a hero of mine, but me, I really don't think so. I'm so fucking scared. Asians are less likely to have twins, so at least that's on my side. I'm so terrified that part of me would even consider terminating one foetus if they were twins. Adam was horrified at the notion though and was all 'NO TERMINATING HEALTHY FOETUSES' which is probably a good way to go because I'd probably feel guilty forever and wonder 'what if' forever. BUT DOESN'T MEAN I'M NOT TERRIFIED.

I'm hoping I'll go in for a dating scan so I'll know pretty soon whether it's twins or not.

On the more practical front, I was thinking in a few months time of moving Liam out of his cot and into a big boy bed so that he won't be all 'BUT THAT'S MY COT' when the new baby comes. Then I was thinking of having both the cot and the bed in the one room, but Adam thinks that's a terrible idea and the baby (who will be at least 4 months by then) will keep waking Liam up. We have a third bedroom, but I do want to keep that as a playroom/spare room. Adam then was thinking of upsizing our house but he seems to have forgotten that a) the market is shit and b) WE ARE DIRT POOR.

And seriously? How privileged have we become that a three bedroom house with a large living area and yard is not big enough for a family with two young children? Especially since our living area also houses the study area?

I will have to purchase things though - another car seat, probably one for Liam, and Liam's current one will go to the new baby, and a double stroller. Thank goodness they pay you for having babies in this country ;P

Comments

[kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com]

Two of my co-workers (both Asian; one Vietnamese and one Japanese/Filippino) have twin brothers! XD

[wickedcherub.livejournal.com]

Hahaha yeah, when I say 'less likely' it's really by less than a fraction of a percent or something.

[versailles-rose.livejournal.com]

I am still amazed that they not only pay you to have a baby, but have things such as 'sleep school', and help the Mum along. Over here, you are totally on your own!

[wickedcherub.livejournal.com]

To be quite honest, it's a bit of a stupid policy they probably brought in for more votes. Voting is compulsory here, so getting all the votes from the uneducated folk is a good plan too.

Not that I'm complaining, really. I'm horrified by how much you have to pay to have a baby in the US :(

[ms-hecubus.livejournal.com]

I was terrified of twins when I was pregnant with Kira too.

[wickedcherub.livejournal.com]

Adam's grandma had 7 kids. Then twins. Then she stopped. Lol.

Kira is such a pretty name!

[ms-hecubus.livejournal.com]

I was totally freaked for the first couple weeks. Your chance of having twins is greater in older moms. If we decide to have a third I'll probably be 40 when we do it. If it's twins that time I'll have a breakdown! ;)

[starfish11.livejournal.com]

Congratulations!
If you do the 12 week scan they'll be able to give you a looks okay/ looks suspect for Down Syndrome, and based on that test you can do an amnio for a definitive answer.
Fwiw, all my kids can sleep through a screaming baby in their room. In fact we can turn lights on and strip beds if one kid is sick and the other kid doesn't even wake up, it's crazy. It's only now that they're older and they play instead of going to sleep that sharing rooms has become a problem for us!

[wickedcherub.livejournal.com]

HIIIIIIIIIII How are you going? I miss you!

We're stopping at two kids, so hopefully when they're older we'll be able to afford a bigger house and they won't have to share rooms.

[starfish11.livejournal.com]

I'm good!
Our kids have to share rooms (our house is only three bedrooms, ack) and although it worked fine when they were little it's a pain in a neck these days. Nicholai and Emma are spending hours staying up being silly instead of sleeping! I think having little ones share and having a playroom is a good way to go.
I really want to extend our house. Our block is a quarter of an acre and our house is quite small, so there's plenty of room to build on! Unfortunately Troy's paying back business loans and stuff, so it'll be a few more years yet. Although if the kids keep up the bedtime carry on they'll all be sleeping out in the backyard in tents if they don't watch out!

[mrsmdub.livejournal.com]

Pipa believes it is her mission in life to stare at Remi until Remi is startled into waking up.
Right now, they have separate rooms even though Remi is still sleeping in my bed. Pipa loves the idea of sleeping with her sister, so I could see them sharing later on.

[wickedcherub.livejournal.com]

What's the age gap between Remi and Pipa?

Liam has cousins that are two years apart (11 months and 2.5 years) and they sleep in the same room. The elder girl sleeps much better because she knows her younger brother isn't out in the loungeroom having fun while she's supposed to be sleeping.

[mrsmdub.livejournal.com]

They're 3 years. Pipa's really involved in all things Remi.

[jimmyjack.livejournal.com]

look just on the off chance, talk to me when you need a twin stroller because my sister has one for her kids who have just turned one and she probably won't need it by the time you do.

[wickedcherub.livejournal.com]

Surely she'll need them still when the kids are two?

I don't even know if I'll get one. I had a look at them, and my current stroller is 6kg, double strollers 12kg or more. Probably wouldn't fit into my car :(

But yes, if I decide on one, I will ask you :D

[laurenthemself]

I think the fact that you're thinking about Down's so much this time is a sign you should get it checked out. As for the twins thing, it's the same as Down's; find out first and then decide what to do? IDEK, I'm just busily hoping that the Pill+Implanon combo has fixed my period-for-a-month issue permanently, because I've had some suspicious twinges Down There in the crampy sense.

[bluedano.livejournal.com]

I've been meaning to comment on this post. Even if, heaven forbid, you ended up with twins, you would do okay. I always said I wanted "two kids, maybe a third eventually", and then I had Micah. And realized that I hated having a newborn. I loved my son, of course, but the newborn stage is awful. In a total reversal from the first round of trying for a baby, when Pete got cold feet, I started reconsidering whether I wanted to go through all that again. Pete said it would probably take awhile to get knocked up, like it did the first time, but NO! I got knocked up the first month, with twins. D: D: D: You figure it out though. The same with Downs, I imagine. Which, by the way, was one of my biggest fears the second time around, before I found out it was twins! Chances of either are pretty slim though. ;)