(no subject)

[wickedcherub]

Here's a story that happened to me yesterday where I make a lady who miscarried feel like crap (and vice versa).



I went to get my blood test done yesterday for a Down's Syndrome screening. It cost $80! No one told me that part, I may have skipped it, but as it was, I was already there, so I just did it.

The pathology lady is a very nice woman, been there as long as I've gone there (years), chatty and very good at her job.

Conversation:

Lady: "So, how's the pregnancy going? *big cheery smile*"
Me: "Oh, I've actually been really sick."
Lady: "Oh really? Well, you should enjoy it while it lasts."
Me: "You think so? It's been tough, to be honest."
Lady: "Well, it's tougher for those of us who can't get past 13 weeks."
Me: "O_____O"
Me: "..."
Me: "..."
Me: "I'm so sorry to hear that. Yeah, every morning I wake up and feel sick, it's a reminder that everything's going okay and I'm grateful for it."
Lady: "That's exactly right! *big cheery smile*"

I know it makes me insensitive, but I was *so* uncomfortable after that because I felt like a dick. But I don't know, *she* asked about the pregnancy, so she was kind of setting herself up for it! Maybe she wanted to talk about miscarrying? I don't know!

Comments

[versailles-rose.livejournal.com]

Oh, Jeeze Louise! That's so awkward! I don't think she should have said anything about that while working. Weird.

[wickedcherub.livejournal.com]

Yeah, she's very chatty, we talked about the holiday she's going to take at the end of the year, and I know she has a daughter etc etc, which is a lot to know about someone who just takes 2 seconds to draw your blood :D

It was mega awkward and also because I felt bad for being insensitive because I felt awkward :(

[twi-lek49.livejournal.com]

You shouldn't feel like a dick - you had no idea what her situation was, and she knew you didn't. I'm sure she was overwhelmed by her emotions, but it was incredibly inappropriate of her, the health care provider, to say anything to you, the patient. Hell, that's inappropriate to say to anyone.

[marksykins.livejournal.com]

TBH, I find her behavior kind of dickish, not yours. It didn't seem like she wanted to talk about her miscarriages, just was one of those ~enjoy every moment of pregnancy/motherhood no matter how bad or else you're ungrateful and horrible~ people.

[notodette.livejournal.com]

I agree, but I have never miscarried, so I can't really say strongly one way or the other.

I do know that I would have done the same thing wc did.

Oops. I mean, what the heck? Ambush.

[ms-hecubus.livejournal.com]

I have miscarried and I think it's absurd to think that anyone else should feel blessed to be sick and run down by their pregnancy just because I lost mine.

Not to mention highly unprofessional of her.

[science-of-life.livejournal.com]

I agree that she was the one at fault. You had no idea about her history and she set you up to make you feel bad. Whether making pregnant women feel bad about their pregnancy somehow comforts her, I don't know. But it was pretty inappropriate of her to discuss at work!

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

You have no reason to feel bad about it. To be honest, a person working in that position shouldn't be projecting onto pregnant patients about her own problems with it. It's insensitive.

[jimmyjack.livejournal.com]

i must say, as one who is biologically predetermined never to even conceive a child (let alone carry one to term), i find your pregnancy itself an affront. have a little more consideration and thought for others, tina.

[n3m3sis42.livejournal.com]

She's the one who asked! You did nothing wrong. How awkward.

[ninabrujaha.livejournal.com]

Yeah, while that's really hard and sad for her, it doesn't make it any easier for you when you're feeling like a lump of nauseous exhaustion (um, yes, I remember exactly how that felt). My pain does not trump your pain, etc. And you're not her friend, so she had no business making you feel awkward because of it. Maybe she shouldn't work in a place where pregnant women are common (as I assume a doctor's office or lab would be) if it's bothering her...