![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Sep. 17th, 2011 02:08 pmI am so angry.
So so angry.
I have this great big ball of anger that's swelling up from inside my gut and I haven't quite pinpointed its source so I can unleash my fury upon it!
Adam's got enough stress going on at the moment and actually requested that I wait before dumping all my shit on him, so I'm just going to do it here and see where that leads.
I know I'm angry at things that are unfair. I'm angry at my friends' marriages that are dissolving. I'm angry at illnesses that my friends have. I'm angry at stupid things like Tom Scully lying to Jim Stynes who might not even survive the year, and leaving the Melbourne Football Club to go to Greater Western Sydney.
But most of all I think I'm angry at Adam's family.
Adam's mum is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I think she was *this close* to taking her foster kids to the Department last week and just dumping them and saying 'THAT'S IT, I'M DONE." She's got a million things on her plate and she's frazzled and can't remember a thing. She'll take something out of the fridge and put it on the bench, then turn around to the fridge to take it out again.
She's incapable of saying no to anyone. She has charities ringing her up non stop asking for donations. The Department couldn't find anyone to take the foster girls for this weekend even though my MIL is due a respite weekend. No one will take them after they've had them once, they're that bad, so they're running out of families.
My MIL was so close to snapping that my SIL Amy had to call up the department herself and yell at them, so they miraculously found a family that will take the girls this weekend.
This doesn't seem to stop Adam's family from taking advantage of my MIL though, just out of habit! They're so used to her doing everything for them.
Bill is going through his divorce now. Cheryl has served him with a caveat on his house, after telling him that she would not chase the house. Bill is understandably stressed and is constantly on the phone to his mum asking her to make appointments with the solicitor, or to do his banking. HE IS 26. HIS MOTHER STILL DOES ALL HIS BANKING.
ACTUALLY, SHE IS CURRENTLY PAYING HIS BILLS WITH HER MONEY WHILE HE IS GALLIVANTING AND LIVING UP THE SINGLE LIFE. She looked up the wrong number and made an appointment with the chiropractor instead of the solicitor and Bill was so angry.
I've told Adam that if Bill can't manage his own affairs that I'll do all his banking for him, make his appointments and sit with him at the solicitors if he needs. I don't want to do any of this, but seriously, if it's one less thing on my MIL's plate, it's a good thing. I don't know if Bill will take it up.
Amy's taken up casual teaching at Somerville Secondary around the corner from my MIL's house and is asking my MIL to look after her 2 year old Tilly and 6 month old Hamish from 8:30-3:00pm on those days. It was sort of okay because it was only once every few weeks, but then Amy got offered the job 3 days a week last week and took it up.
My MIL has expressly told Amy that she doesn't think she can handle Amy's kids three days a week. It's too hard for her to take the foster girls to school WITH Amy's kids. Too hard to go to meetings about the foster girls. Too hard to do anything! It must have been damn near impossible or my MIL would have never said no. I've never heard her say no in my life.
So Amy's going to put the kids in daycare *one* day a week and leave her kids with my MIL *two* days. Apparently it's not worth it otherwise. AMY DOES NOT NEED THE MONEY. SHE DOESN'T.
I didn't know any of this until Thursday. I leave Liam with my MIL on Thursdays between 10:30-2:30 so I can go to uni. I got there and Tilly and Hamish were there. My SIL Chloe had to come around with her son Jimmy and look after ALL FOUR OF THEM (that's 4 kids under 2!) because my MIL had a meeting. That's not fair on Chloe, that's not fair on my MIL.
Hell, that's not fair on *me*. I am not comfortable leaving Liam with my MIL anymore knowing how much she's got on her hands. It was only 4 hours a week, time for Liam to spend with his Nanna and build a relationship and now that Tilly and Hamish will be there too, I'll have to find somewhere else - maybe a friend or the uni daycare :(
AMY KNOWS WHAT HER MUM IS GOING THROUGH, and she's entitled to ask her mum to babysit just like the rest of us, but not like that. That's just flat out taking advantage of her mum :(
Chloe's at uni at the moment too, and sometimes my MIL takes Jimmy for a few hours so that Chloe can finish an assignment, but now Chloe doesn't want to do that either because Amy's just effectively made her kids the priority. Jimmy deserves one on one time with his Nanna too :(
My MIL will not say no to Amy a second time. It probably took all of her courage to say no the first time.
MAKES ME SO ANGRY. My MIL is chugging down every vitamin she can get her hands on, to try and keep on top of things. The foster girls wake up more often during the night than Liam, and wake up at 5:30am for the day. No one will take them permanently, they were only supposed to be at my MIL's for 3 weeks, not 5 years. My MIL is even taking on her old foster kids for a week next week so that their foster parents can have respite.
My FIL doesn't help at all except go to work. He still expects dinner on the table and the house to be clean. He teases her (a bit meanly, IMO) about her forgetfulness and sometimes I just want to punch him :(
I also feel so guilty because Adam and I aren't without blame - my MIL looks after Liam, and sometimes when I can't be bothered cooking, we just drop in at dinnertime after my MIL assures us that she's made enough for all of us. I've only just realised that more often than not Adam and I are eating a nice dinner and my FIL and her are eating beans on toast 'IT'S OUR FAVOURITE MEAL, DON'T YOU WORRY TINA.' She helped us with our bills during that Month From Hell where we had no money. We've paid her back though.
I'm going to try and relieve my MIL of some of her duties - maybe take on her banking - she does all the banking and paperwork (and loses half of it) and invite her over for dinner much more often so she doesn't have to cook. Adam and I used to babysit the fostergirls a lot before Liam came along so maybe we can do that again now that Liam is older, and give her some free time.
I want to go tell Amy off, but it's just going to become a huge fight and a big ball of 'IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS SHE'S NOT EVEN YOUR MUM'. I can't think of a delicate way to even bring it up with Amy when she should know better.
This has made me so worked up I'm even rethinking my plans to try for another baby at the end of the year - I'd probably need my MIL's help every so often but I'm not going to want to ask if she's got so much going on :(
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHH.
I'm going to stick on a Merlin DVD and take my anger out on the dishes.
So so angry.
I have this great big ball of anger that's swelling up from inside my gut and I haven't quite pinpointed its source so I can unleash my fury upon it!
Adam's got enough stress going on at the moment and actually requested that I wait before dumping all my shit on him, so I'm just going to do it here and see where that leads.
I know I'm angry at things that are unfair. I'm angry at my friends' marriages that are dissolving. I'm angry at illnesses that my friends have. I'm angry at stupid things like Tom Scully lying to Jim Stynes who might not even survive the year, and leaving the Melbourne Football Club to go to Greater Western Sydney.
But most of all I think I'm angry at Adam's family.
Adam's mum is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I think she was *this close* to taking her foster kids to the Department last week and just dumping them and saying 'THAT'S IT, I'M DONE." She's got a million things on her plate and she's frazzled and can't remember a thing. She'll take something out of the fridge and put it on the bench, then turn around to the fridge to take it out again.
She's incapable of saying no to anyone. She has charities ringing her up non stop asking for donations. The Department couldn't find anyone to take the foster girls for this weekend even though my MIL is due a respite weekend. No one will take them after they've had them once, they're that bad, so they're running out of families.
My MIL was so close to snapping that my SIL Amy had to call up the department herself and yell at them, so they miraculously found a family that will take the girls this weekend.
This doesn't seem to stop Adam's family from taking advantage of my MIL though, just out of habit! They're so used to her doing everything for them.
Bill is going through his divorce now. Cheryl has served him with a caveat on his house, after telling him that she would not chase the house. Bill is understandably stressed and is constantly on the phone to his mum asking her to make appointments with the solicitor, or to do his banking. HE IS 26. HIS MOTHER STILL DOES ALL HIS BANKING.
ACTUALLY, SHE IS CURRENTLY PAYING HIS BILLS WITH HER MONEY WHILE HE IS GALLIVANTING AND LIVING UP THE SINGLE LIFE. She looked up the wrong number and made an appointment with the chiropractor instead of the solicitor and Bill was so angry.
I've told Adam that if Bill can't manage his own affairs that I'll do all his banking for him, make his appointments and sit with him at the solicitors if he needs. I don't want to do any of this, but seriously, if it's one less thing on my MIL's plate, it's a good thing. I don't know if Bill will take it up.
Amy's taken up casual teaching at Somerville Secondary around the corner from my MIL's house and is asking my MIL to look after her 2 year old Tilly and 6 month old Hamish from 8:30-3:00pm on those days. It was sort of okay because it was only once every few weeks, but then Amy got offered the job 3 days a week last week and took it up.
My MIL has expressly told Amy that she doesn't think she can handle Amy's kids three days a week. It's too hard for her to take the foster girls to school WITH Amy's kids. Too hard to go to meetings about the foster girls. Too hard to do anything! It must have been damn near impossible or my MIL would have never said no. I've never heard her say no in my life.
So Amy's going to put the kids in daycare *one* day a week and leave her kids with my MIL *two* days. Apparently it's not worth it otherwise. AMY DOES NOT NEED THE MONEY. SHE DOESN'T.
I didn't know any of this until Thursday. I leave Liam with my MIL on Thursdays between 10:30-2:30 so I can go to uni. I got there and Tilly and Hamish were there. My SIL Chloe had to come around with her son Jimmy and look after ALL FOUR OF THEM (that's 4 kids under 2!) because my MIL had a meeting. That's not fair on Chloe, that's not fair on my MIL.
Hell, that's not fair on *me*. I am not comfortable leaving Liam with my MIL anymore knowing how much she's got on her hands. It was only 4 hours a week, time for Liam to spend with his Nanna and build a relationship and now that Tilly and Hamish will be there too, I'll have to find somewhere else - maybe a friend or the uni daycare :(
AMY KNOWS WHAT HER MUM IS GOING THROUGH, and she's entitled to ask her mum to babysit just like the rest of us, but not like that. That's just flat out taking advantage of her mum :(
Chloe's at uni at the moment too, and sometimes my MIL takes Jimmy for a few hours so that Chloe can finish an assignment, but now Chloe doesn't want to do that either because Amy's just effectively made her kids the priority. Jimmy deserves one on one time with his Nanna too :(
My MIL will not say no to Amy a second time. It probably took all of her courage to say no the first time.
MAKES ME SO ANGRY. My MIL is chugging down every vitamin she can get her hands on, to try and keep on top of things. The foster girls wake up more often during the night than Liam, and wake up at 5:30am for the day. No one will take them permanently, they were only supposed to be at my MIL's for 3 weeks, not 5 years. My MIL is even taking on her old foster kids for a week next week so that their foster parents can have respite.
My FIL doesn't help at all except go to work. He still expects dinner on the table and the house to be clean. He teases her (a bit meanly, IMO) about her forgetfulness and sometimes I just want to punch him :(
I also feel so guilty because Adam and I aren't without blame - my MIL looks after Liam, and sometimes when I can't be bothered cooking, we just drop in at dinnertime after my MIL assures us that she's made enough for all of us. I've only just realised that more often than not Adam and I are eating a nice dinner and my FIL and her are eating beans on toast 'IT'S OUR FAVOURITE MEAL, DON'T YOU WORRY TINA.' She helped us with our bills during that Month From Hell where we had no money. We've paid her back though.
I'm going to try and relieve my MIL of some of her duties - maybe take on her banking - she does all the banking and paperwork (and loses half of it) and invite her over for dinner much more often so she doesn't have to cook. Adam and I used to babysit the fostergirls a lot before Liam came along so maybe we can do that again now that Liam is older, and give her some free time.
I want to go tell Amy off, but it's just going to become a huge fight and a big ball of 'IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS SHE'S NOT EVEN YOUR MUM'. I can't think of a delicate way to even bring it up with Amy when she should know better.
This has made me so worked up I'm even rethinking my plans to try for another baby at the end of the year - I'd probably need my MIL's help every so often but I'm not going to want to ask if she's got so much going on :(
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHH.
I'm going to stick on a Merlin DVD and take my anger out on the dishes.
