(no subject)
Took Tobias to his 4 month checkup at the nurse today. Asked the nurse if he was growing okay etc (he's 8kg. We've hit the weight limit where we can turn his car seat forward facing now, problem being he can't even sit up yet because he's 4 months old) and she was all 'I'm not worried about him, I'm worried about you!'
She spent most of our visit asking me about my sleep and my eating, my uni and whether my husband is supportive and brings me flowers (apparently, if they bring you flowers, they must be doing other nice things too, who knows, I don't think it was a serious question). She was a fill-in nurse, not my regular nurse, and verging on elderly. She was very maternal, and rambly.
I didn't realise I looked so obviously worn out.
I mean, my SIL, bless her, has sent me a list of 'THINGS MY SIL CAN DO TO HELP MY MENTAL HEALTH AND KEEP MY MOTHER OFF MY BACK', which includes my SIL cooking meals when I need it, or hiring a cleaner, or sending me off to get a massage after my mother visits.
And I'm grateful, but I don't like it. :(
I don't like this idea that I'm failing so bad that other people are noticing. I recently dropped $70 on some liquid foundation and bought some new clothes and shoes in an effort to look like I'm gorgeous and on top of things. It's obviously not working.
I CAN DO THIS. OTHER PEOPLE DO THIS ALL THE TIME, THERE IS A LADY AT PLAYGROUP WHO HAS SEVEN CHILDREN. I ONLY HAVE TWO. THAT'S LIKE, THE AVERAGE NUMBER OF CHILDREN. HOW HARD CAN IT BE, REALLY.
She spent most of our visit asking me about my sleep and my eating, my uni and whether my husband is supportive and brings me flowers (apparently, if they bring you flowers, they must be doing other nice things too, who knows, I don't think it was a serious question). She was a fill-in nurse, not my regular nurse, and verging on elderly. She was very maternal, and rambly.
I didn't realise I looked so obviously worn out.
I mean, my SIL, bless her, has sent me a list of 'THINGS MY SIL CAN DO TO HELP MY MENTAL HEALTH AND KEEP MY MOTHER OFF MY BACK', which includes my SIL cooking meals when I need it, or hiring a cleaner, or sending me off to get a massage after my mother visits.
And I'm grateful, but I don't like it. :(
I don't like this idea that I'm failing so bad that other people are noticing. I recently dropped $70 on some liquid foundation and bought some new clothes and shoes in an effort to look like I'm gorgeous and on top of things. It's obviously not working.
I CAN DO THIS. OTHER PEOPLE DO THIS ALL THE TIME, THERE IS A LADY AT PLAYGROUP WHO HAS SEVEN CHILDREN. I ONLY HAVE TWO. THAT'S LIKE, THE AVERAGE NUMBER OF CHILDREN. HOW HARD CAN IT BE, REALLY.