good stuff

Aug. 8th, 2012 09:33 am
wickedcherub: (Default)
- Adam got a new job! He's been working as a factory hand in a blind factory for the past couple of months on a pretty paltry wage, but now he was just offered a job by another blind company going around to people's houses and quoting/measuring/fitting blinds for people. It pays more, and he gets a van and a phone and his fuel paid for, so hurrah! We come off welfare payments, so the pay rise doesn't work out to be heaps more, but more is more.

We're not so much excited about the job as the fact that it shows some progression on his resume? His resume is pretty bare, like, 10 years of self employment as a bricklayer is difficult for potential employers I think.

He's terrified because he doesn't like any sort of change or anything new, so I'm really proud of him for giving this a go. He's going to learn all sorts of people skills too, which will be helpful for future employment.

We've also applied for various other sought other positions such as firefighter, train driver, policemen, all of which thousands of people apply for and take many months, and Adam's made the next round in all of them.

- We also did well at tax time, so we were able to pay off all our debts and have a couple of grand over for savings so financially we're doing okay. Not great, but okay.

- I was able to buy the double stroller I wanted for only $150. I didn't want to spend heaps just in case Liam decided that he was going to walk everywhere so $150 is quite good! I'm hoping Liam will be ready to move into a big boy bed in the next few months; Adam's building him a train bed!

- Speaking of Liam sleeping, I covered Liam's window with a thick piece of fabric that blocks out all the light and I've been able to just put Liam down in his cot in the afternoon and he's been sleeping for 2+ hrs! I used to have to take him for drives in the car to get him to sleep and just sit with him in the car while he slept because he refused to transfer, but omg MY LIFE HAS CHANGED SINCE LIAM IS SLEEPING INSIDE. I'll have to spring for a proper block out blind because I've pinned the fabric on the window and therefore can't open up the blind in the mornings. Our house is clean, Adam gets proper cooked lunches and dinners, sometimes I get to nap, I've had a whole new lease on life.

- Olympics has been disappointing for Australians, but god, there's so much pretty this year. There's been a real lack of RPS though and I WANT TO SEE IT. Everyone is so very good looking!

- [ profile] paperlegends has been phenomenal so far, you should read some. Just pick one, I haven't read a bad one so far and I've read a lot of them.

- My SIL just called and said she's setting up some messy arts and crafts at her house so to drop by with Liam and join in :) I love it when things like that happen.


Jul. 25th, 2012 09:12 am
wickedcherub: (Default)
My BIL is getting divorced and while he and Adam were at the lawyers, they overheard one of the lawyers describing a case that she had.

Apparently she was working on a marriage annulment for a 20-something Greek Orthodox couple.

Reason for annulment?

Well, on their wedding night, said couple were getting ready for bed in their honeymoon suite and the bride was a little nervous but getting all gussied up for her 'big night' as she was to lose her virginity.

The groom's mother was in the room next door, which the bride thought was a bit odd, but whatever, she had bigger things to worry about.

While she was getting ready, the groom said he had to pop next door to say goodnight to his mum and that he'd be right back.

He was gone for a while, and the nervous bride had moved from anxious to kinda angry now, so she just marched next door and barged into catch her husband..

.. okay guess.

What would her husband be doing that would cause you to ask for an instant annulment?

.. he was breastfeeding.

O_o I guess he never weaned off his bedtime feed.

See, I thought I was quite open minded about the whole extended breastfeeding thing, BUT THAT IS GOING TOO FAR. WHAT THE FREAKING HELL.

Probably a good argument for moving in together before marriage too, I suppose.
wickedcherub: (Default)
It's been largely uneventful due to the fact that everyone in my family has a birthday in July and some of those birthdays where for children, so I kind of pushed mine aside.

That and we've been on a super tight budget since both of our car registrations were due this month, and Adam was diagnosed with mild Bell's Palsy, which set my finances back somewhat.

My SIL did get me a cake and balloons though, so I did get to do all of that :D And I saw The Dark Knight Rises with Adam which was our first movie outing together in two years.

I had the anatomy ultrasound done for the foetus and it looks like I am well on my way to being [ profile] alathia when I grow up, because Liam's getting a younger brother! So excited :D

I actually typed that above as @alathia, which shows that I probably have been on FB and Twitter a lot more than LJ, as has everyone else.

I didn't reach my goal of changing my username before I was 30, it was just too hard to think of something new :(

I unknowingly fed Liam some soup that was spoiled just now and I'm kind of freaking out.

Here's a recent photo of him:

wickedcherub: (Default)
Sometimes you forget that even though you're checking your FL every day, doesn't mean you're posting! We've been really sick here, and Adam's entire family have been really sick, so I've been running around looking after people when I haven't been vomiting.

I was thinking the other day as I was watching Liam in the shopping centre playground that I was really proud of him. I was proud to have him as my son, and not for any specific reason - he's not advanced in any way, he's okay looking but average sized, just a really normal kid, if not a bit shy. But I'm so proud of *everything* he does, and everything he learns.

I told Adam about it, and he was all, 'well of course, you're his mum, of course you're proud of him!'

But I don't know, I'm positive my parents aren't proud of me, and even less so of my brother, and there isn't anything wrong with my brother. I'm frickin proud of him. My parents have never given any indication that they're proud of me, and I even got another 'your life is such a disappointment to me' speech from my mum on the weekend because my friend Hieu is getting married and 'anyone would be proud to have her as a daughter, you knew you did a good job bringing her up then' (and you know, it didn't even upset me, because my mum was being ridiculous - Hieu's mum has spent Hieu's entire life living through her and now she's getting married and moving out and Hieu's mum has nothing. She barely talks to her husband, doesn't have any friends and Hieu is feeling guilty about 'abandoning' her mum. My mum thinks Hieu's mum will still feel inner satisfaction that Hieu turned out so well, but what, is Hieu's mum just supposed to like, fade away now? My mum has a wonderful marriage and tons of friends. My mum still feels sorry for herself though, lol)

Anyway, do you think the pride thing is something that all mums feel regardless, and my mum just probably isn't showing it? I was quite astonished at how I feel about Liam.
wickedcherub: (Default)
I'm kind of struggling a bit with my decision to be a stay at home mum at the moment.

I always figured that having me at home was an okay pay off for us having hardly any money. And definitely if we're going to have two kids.

I've just met a lot of people recently, especially at the shops, who have jobs that didn't require years of formal education - the greengrocer lady and the nail technician for example, who are sending their 5 year olds to private schools at $12,000 a year, and whose babies are in strollers that cost more than my car.

Those kids seem well adjusted, if not actually quite bright and very verbal and social.

The logical side of my brain tells me that in all honesty, I was never going to send my kids to a private school during their primary years even if we had won the lottery and strollers that expensive are just a waste of money.

I know it's just.. *stuff*, but I can't help feeling that it's not fair on Liam that I can't provide him with ALL OF THE STUFF!!! Again, logically, I can't think of any stuff that he actually requires right now that he doesn't have, (or Adam hasn't built in one form or another) but it's just a nagging feeling that I can't shake.

I also can't shake the idea that I'm not a very good mum in the first place and that I'm just staying home out of selfishness of wanting to be with Liam and I really shouldn't be a stay at home mum and should use my skills at a paid workplace. Last night I was really tired and had a cold, so I just made Liam a canned tuna/avocado/pasta salad for dinner and I couldn't stop thinking that a) TINA YOU HAVE ONE JOB, TO LOOK AFTER YOUR SON PROPERLY and b) YOUR MOTHER WOULD HAVE GOTTEN OFF HER ASS AND COOKED HER KIDS A REAL MEAL NO MATTER HOW TIRED SHE WAS.

Which just led me to my constant problem of I FUCKING HATE ADULTHOOD. I hate being an adult, I don't feel like I'm any good at it, I don't have any sort of skills, I can't seem to learn any life lessons, I'm not ready for any of these responsibilities. I've never been good with money, or having to look after myself let alone someone else and now it's all sort of here and I have to deal with it and I don't think I'm doing a very good job and I really wish sometimes I could run away.

And that scares me, because I used to want to run away all the time, and I did, I ran away from friends and problems, I ran away from everything. Adam didn't want to marry me because he thought I was flighty. I promised him with everything I had that I wouldn't run away from him (again. I did it once while we were friends) and now I feel like wanting to do it again, he keeps asking me 'do you want to take us with you??' and I don't know. Yes? No? Sometimes? On a part time basis?

I dunno, I think I am doing okay on a day-to-day basis. It's only sort of when I go to bed that all these thoughts overwhelm me. I enjoy being at home, I really do. It's the bestest ever, I just need to know it's the right thing to do.
wickedcherub: (Default)
I went to see the National Theatre Live screening of Frankenstein yesterday. Benedict Cumberbatch and Jonny Lee Miller were lovely, as expected. Super excited to see it again in two weeks time when they swap roles.

Came home yesterday to find Adam had finished building a log cabin in my lounge room. I don't have a big house, I know, but it's so much bigger than I expected! I remember agreeing to a cubby house for Liam, and suddenly, this! Door on hinges! Entrance tunnel!

Adam took home a whole bunch of rolls that fabric comes wrapped around in, from his factory. They're *so* heavy, I could barely carry one. The whole thing is indestructible. After the screws and the hinges on the doors, the whole thing only cost just over $20!

Adam's put Liam's table and chair set inside, and Liam dragged in his soft toys and his tea set. He's giving tea parties and insisting that he eats all his meals on the table. It's like he thinks he lives there now.

We also found an old PS1 steering wheel at a pawn shop for $5, so bought if for Liam because he loves steering wheels. Adam built Liam an entire car around it out of spare wood parts around the home. It has a door you can open and a little chair and a spoiler and everything.

wickedcherub: (Default)
Don't you hate it when you leave it too long between updates and then posting becomes daunting?

Lots has happened, but I don't have time right now sorrrrrry

I have a question though:

You know the bookmarks feature on AO3 - there's no way to sort or catergorise them is there? Like, you just end up with a huge list of unwieldy bookmarks don't you. I may have to stop using it if this is the case and see if I can't get Pinboard working on my phone.

I don't even want anything particularly specific, I'd just like to be able to separate my fandoms!

Ta guys
wickedcherub: (Default)
O people more world-wise than I! (i.e, all of you, which is sad for me at the age of nearly 30) Please talk to me about the good and bad things about only having one bank account between yourself and your partner.

Currently Adam and I have separate accounts, at different banks, simply because, well when we got married, that's what we had. We share all of our money. (which is good, because I don't earn any except for my government benefits) Pretty much a couple of months after we started sleeping together Adam handed over his bank card to me and said 'here.' (That should have alerted me to the fact that he thought we were more than FWB hey)

So at the moment, I take some cash out of Adam's account and give that to him, and then take his card and use it. (He obviously takes cash out whenever he wants, it's just easier for me to do it) We both have access to each other's Internet banking though he never looks at mine.

*SO*, it seems to me that it would make tons of sense for me to close my account, get the government to put our welfare payments into his account, put my name on his account, and get two cards! Less bank fees etc etc.

For some reason, Adam's not that keen on the idea - he thinks that it's good that some of the money ends up in my account so he can't touch it. He thinks it's putting all our eggs in the one basket or something.

Anecdotes? Anyone?
wickedcherub: (Default)
- I have my 12 week ultrasound today. I hope everything's okay! I feel like I've been pregnant foreeeever.

- Mother's Day has brought out the phrase 'FTM pregnancy' all over my LJ friends list and it's taken me forever to parse that as 'First Time Mum pregnancy' and not 'Female-to-Male pregnancy'. I keep clicking on the link expecting to read interesting discussion about trans men pregnancies!

- I had a lovely Mother's Day - I got to sleep in til midday, Liam bought me some sheepskin slippers (which he will undoubtedly steal), Adam made me the most bestest perfectest banana pancakes ever, then the foetus made me throw them all up. We had a roast dinner at my in laws.

- One of the foster girls seems to have sensory issues and she's been putting her hand (and lots of other things) down her pants recently (ok for a while), which at 6 years old, was bothering my MIL a bit. Her OT has given her a little heart shaped furry vibrating pillow so she can get all her happies in her room, but that seems to *really* bother my MIL, even though she's trying to go along with it. It bothers my SIL as well, whom my MIL listens to a lot. I tried to explain that she's probably going to do it anyway, that it's normal, that it feels good, so it's good that she's got something to help her in privacy, but I think they can't get past that it's 'sexual' and she's 6. They're fine with the fact that Liam fiddles with his penis anytime he can though, so I don't know what the issue *actually* is.

- I got really angry at that stupid TIME magazine cover with the woman breastfeeding that little boy in that ridiculous position. I hate parenting wars to start with, I hate it when parents are made to feel guilty about their choices by other parents. But what *REALLY* bugged me is that suddenly on Twitter, people who *aren't* parents, and people who will *never* be mothers, were all 'OMG EXTENDED BREASTFEEDING IS SO GROSS AND DISGUSTING AND PEOPLE WHO DO IT ARE WHACK'. STUPID exploitative misleading cover.

- I watched The Avengers (I had to download a cam version :() I liked it, and Jeremy Renner needs to come visit me. I didn't have any ~feels~ though, so I might have to start dropping quite a few Avengers mad people from my Tumblr whom I'm not close with.
wickedcherub: (Default)
So I would really like it if Ewan McGregor would play Moriarty in this new 'Elementary' show, so that between him, Jonny Lee Miller and Jude Law, we could have Sherlock/Watson/Moriarty and it would like be the good old days again.

I would also enjoy it if one of these new Sherlock shows/movies would actually portray Sherlock as someone who really loves getting the bad guy cos they did bad things and deserve justice. The Sherlock in the books is really into that and it's weird to me that they never gave Sherlock that extra purpose in the new stuff.

I can't keep away from Avengers spoilers even though I've put every term I can think of into my Tumblr Savior. People just don't tag stuff with what their posts are actually about. Like, you can keep your 'OMG' and 'AASFDSJLSKD' tags just add an extra 'tom hiddleston' one on the end or something!

In RL news, Adam's getting up early every day to go to his new job, and it's waking up Liam. So now Liam wakes up 5 min before Adam's alarm every morning and I can't seem to get him to go back to sleep because Liam can hear Adam being awake and getting ready for work. I also don't want to start putting Liam to bed at 6:30pm so he gets his full 12 hours :\
wickedcherub: (Default)
Here's a story that happened to me yesterday where I make a lady who miscarried feel like crap (and vice versa).

cut )
wickedcherub: (Default)
My mum bought me a whole bunch of new bras from Vietnam when she was there.

Me: "Mum, how did you know what size I am?"
Mum: "I don't. I just bought the biggest size they had in every shop."


They fit.
wickedcherub: (Default)
I know it's rude to talk about money things but it's my LJ and I'll do what I want to :)

I was looking up minimum wage type things and it turns out that the minimum wage in Australia is $15.51 per hour. (Adam is getting a bit more than that) Which is almost double the US rate of $8-something. Jesus christ, how does your country work? How can you afford anything on $8 an hour?

I went to Centrelink to see if Adam's new income is still low enough for us to be eligible for any sort of assistance. At the very least I want a Low Income Heathcare Card because they are the shit. Concession rates to everything, transport etc, - super cheap meds. I remember being on the pill with the Card and it cost me $5 for 4 months! My anti-nausea meds which cost $13.50 (not going to break the bank, but still) are only $5 on the card.

Centrelink is a very miserable place :( All sorts of people lined up requiring assistance. Liam hated it and squealed the entire time. He threw his food on the floor, wiped his snotty nose all over his face. At the welfare office in a low income area *I* had the ratty kid. It was awful.

Anyway, once we got into the interview area, Liam was an angel because he got to draw pictures with some coloured pencils the worker had thoughtfully provided.

Turns out that at the moment I'm receiving $190 per fortnight in assistance for having Liam. Now that Adam is making not very much I'll be receiving $390 a fortnight!

THREE HUNDRED AND NINETY DOLLARS A FORTNIGHT. WHAT THE HELL. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THIS BUT OH MY GOD SURELY THIS SORT OF WELFARE IS CRIPPLING OUR COUNTRY. That is so much money! Adam will be making $1368 per fortnight before tax, so we'll have something like $750 each and every week to spend on mortgage, bills, groceries etc. Does that seem like a lot to anyone? Considering I'm supposed to be really poor?

It seems like TONS to me. I just spent all last week switching utility plans/companies to the cheapest options and our bills aren't so big. If Adam keeps this job (or gets a better one) we'll be able to pay off our credit card (there's only about 1k on it, not so bad) and start saving again. I don't know why I haven't insisted on Adam getting a regular wage job before this. The idea of being paid every fortnight is making me deliriously happy.


Apr. 28th, 2012 08:40 am
wickedcherub: (Default)
Adam got a new job! It's barely above minimal wage, but we'll take it over no wage any day. Mimimal wage will still cover all our expenses and what not so go us! Hopefully he won't hate the job too much, it's just a factory job. What I'm really excited about is the idea of regular set wages :D I don't mind so much that it's a low wage because I'll be able to preallocate all the money. It's also in a factory where his friend is the manager, so I know he'll be okay - Adam's never worked for someone else before and he *hates* authority, so I think this will be good.

He's also got a few other prospects from friends-of-friends that look promising and pay much better (almost double!) but we're still waiting on those and I'm not relying on it or anything, but it's nice to think they're in the pipeline.

Adam is so pleased he won't have to get unemployment benefits.

It's been a weird couple of weeks - all of Adam's friends seemed to suddenly require front fences built etc - which Adam would have gladly built free of charge or for some beer or something but they were all insisting on paying him. It was awkward but kind of nice :)

Adam hit a really low point a day or two ago where he was talking about maybe selling the house and renting until I graduated. Silly idea - I know we have a fair bit of equity in the house, but we wouldn't have found a place to rent less than our current mortgage and we would have just been eating into our equity to pay it. And Adam *loves* this house. It's the house he bought when he moved out of home! So all good now.

I'm still looking for work - it turns out childcare isn't as expensive as I thought, and I think Liam would really benefit from a day or two of childcare a week.

I also went through most of yesterday without feeling nauseous, thinking I'd finally turned a corner maybe, then spent the evening throwing up everything :( boo.

Things are looking up again, hurrah.

money woes

Apr. 26th, 2012 05:06 pm
wickedcherub: (Default)
I've been asking around for work for Adam, seeing as he hasn't worked for weeks, but it looks like the construction industry here is going down down down for the next 6 months and there's no work anywhere. Seems like Adam already knew this, but didn't want to voice his fears.

He's so stressed now he can't even breathe properly.

I don't even know really what kind of jobs Adam can do since he's been a bricklayer his whole life. We've got his application with the Victoria Police going, but that can take the better part of a year.

I've applied for a lot of part time jobs and heard back from none - I've been told the job market is tight, but it's the first time I've not had a phone call the very next day asking me to interview. I've always had it super easy when finding jobs and it's making me a bit nervous. I'm going to give it another week or so of applying, and if I get nothing, I'm just going to have to apply for full time work, of which there are many many more jobs.

Part of me isn't as stressed as Adam, simply because I'm good at blocking it out in my brain, and I know it sounds stupid, but I know my parents would bail us out if we ever got into real strife? My mother is constantly asking me if we're doing okay and whether we need money and I always tell her we're fine, just so she won't worry, so I know that at the very very very worst I've always got them.

Anyway, I've put in an application for Adam to go on unemployment benefits. He hates it. He hates the idea of being on welfare. Either because it means he's failing, or because we're relying on the government, I don't know. I think it's stupid, we paid our taxes for this reason. It's not like we're lying around on our asses waiting for government handouts, we're actively looking for work so we won't need it!

While I was inquiring about unemployment, turns out that we're eligible for Parenting Payment because we're low income. If that all goes through, the money the government gives us will almost pay for our mortgage which would be the biggest relief. I can reduce spending on groceries and on utility bills, but the mortgage is always there, so not having to worry about that will be the best.

One thing I'm actually finding really hard about being poor is gifts. We have many weddings/baby showers/birthdays this year which all require gifts and I don't have the money for it. And a lot of them are Asian, who expect monetary gifts. And *worse*, are Asians who've been to *our* wedding/baby shower etc and so I'm expected to give them a monetary gift the same size they gave us. I just don't know my way around this one. My youngest cousin's baby's one month celebration is on Saturday and he gave us $150 for Liam's! I'm just going to have to get the baby a cute outfit or a book or something and make it up later, I think :((((((((((

I'm okay with saying 'sorry, I can't go out with you today because I can't afford it' to my wealthy friends, but not having enough money for gifts is really really getting me down.
wickedcherub: (Default)
We're really dirt broke at the moment - down to our last couple of hundred dollars and Adam hasn't been working. No one's building houses at the moment because of the economy.

So since he's been sitting at home, I've been applying for work today, (though I hope this morning sickness will ease up soon. The anti-nausea drugs the doctor gave me aren't helping all that much!) and I only want part time work because I still have uni and really, while Adam isn't working, he's not *unemployed*, things are just slow.

I found the perfect job - the listing went up on the website an hour ago - the position is basically my old position at the Investigation Agency - writing reports, database work, co-ordinating agents, invoicing - but only three days a week, $2.50 more per hour, AND ONLY 10 MINUTES FROM MY HOUSE instead of an hour!


PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE. HIRE ME. Save my husband from being SUPER DOMESTIC HUSBAND OF THE YEAR (Adam's been on a house cleaning rampage because he feels so guilty at not 'bringing home the bacon').

Surely they have to give me an interview at least. Fuck I haven't interviewed in YEARS.
wickedcherub: (Default)
Divorce sucks balls.

My Brother in Law's perfectly amicable separation and settlement is now turning into a nasty personal affair and going to be dragged through the courts.

He's going to be ruined.

Adam hasn't been sleeping because he's stressed about it, even though there's nothing Adam can do about it. Makes me so angry.
wickedcherub: (Default)
Went round to my In Laws last night for dinner because I can't stand the smell of any food at the moment, so no cooking for me. Thank god for Adam's entire family being within a 5 minute drive from our house. I have such respect for those people who go through pregnancy and motherhood alone.

Speaking of Adam's entire family, I saw a book lying on the buffet there and it was the entire Dearing family tree from 1820-1989. Photos, descriptions, everything. I was quite overwhelmed. I looked through it and none of the hundreds and hundreds of people in this book were 'special' in any way, they were/are all farmers and labourers (though there was one school principal!) and yet here they were, special and remembered because they are a part of our family. I had fun finding all the different euphemisms for 'housewife'. Apparently my mother in law is a 'domestic engineer' no joke :D
Some of the descriptions got a bit 'dating service' like 'Irene is doing a degree in Bible Study (or whatever). She has an infectious exuberance, a never-say-die attitude and loves kittens'.

All these branches of the family tree in England, Canada, America, South Africa, Australia and New Zealand. It was astonishing. Even more so because it was pre-Internet!

It made me feel like I had a hole in my abdomen though. Adam already has his 110 immediate family members living within a 20km radius of our house. I have one uncle and one aunt. The rest are in Vietnam. I had a great number of family friends at our wedding (probably 110!), people whom I've known my entire life, but they have their own families, they're not *my* family.

And now Adam had a connection to all these hundreds of people, he has connections and roots and history and I'm just... floating. I feel like I have appeared out of thin air.

I also can't start hunting down family history either. There are no records or photos past my grandmother. My surname is something like the third most common one. I think my maternal grandfather's surname is just the colloquial term for 'Chinese' because they immigrated from China.

I do know that I have two great grandfathers who had four wives each. Apparently I'm descended from the 'big wife' from both sides :p Maybe my Dad will know. I'll ask him when he gets back from his holiday and I'll write down everything he knows about our family. He's good like that.

I also get this desperate feeling when it comes to Liam. Because of the size and proximity to Adam's family (and also the sheer 'whiteness' of where we live) it feels like Adam's traditions and rituals (like Christmas and Easter etc) are bigger and more important than the ones I grew up with. I want him to relate to being Vietnamese. I want him to look forward to Lunar New Year with the same fervor as Christmas.

I want him to know where I come from but sometimes it's difficult because I don't even know. Luckily for me Adam loves going to visit my family in Vietnam and it's not expensive, so we'll probably have many family trips there. That's always a good start.
wickedcherub: (Default)
Just when I was all feeling good about the state of preschool television programming, in a racial sense, I watched an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba this morning where Andy Samberg guest starred.

Wearing this:

For no reason, he was just on to show everyone how to do the Crocodile Chomp dancey dance.

Yeah, because cultural appropriation IS AWESOME!

(hopefully my last post for the day. Adam took Liam to a party so I could stay home and finish an assignment and all I'm doing is faffing around on the Internet then throwing up)


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