wickedcherub: (Default)
I've been really lonely lately. It all came to a head on Sunday when Adam woke up to a sunny day and decided that it was a good day to go to the football. I burst into tears because I couldn't go because Liam needed to stay home and nap and he was a bit under the weather.

All of my friends have moved away, or are moving away, or have moved to the other side of the city with no car and I see them twice a year if that. I don't really have online friends anymore - just online acquaintances.

I've said it before, but I need new friends and it's a lot harder than I thought to make some. I love the women in my mother's group, but they're not *my* people. I went to see Magic Mike with Adam's ex gf and her friends (yeah, we're friends, it's weird but it works) but again, while lovely people, not my people.

Adam wanted to throw me a party for my 30th but I didn't have anyone to invite :(

I don't know how else to go about making new friends. Do I have to start new hobbies? Because I don't really want to/have the money to.


Date: 2012-08-08 12:25 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] ourspacesongs.livejournal.com
I totally understand how you feel, I've been here in Boston for more than 2 years and I really don't feel like I've made *close* friends here, I mean, I have people I go places/see movies/whatever with but not like people I'd call up if I was having a problem or just to chat or something. I don't know, I wish I had advice to give but sadly I don't. Making friends is hard! Especially if you don't have some set thing that brings you together with people, like at least last year for school I would kind of be forced to socialize and see people on a semi-regular basis, but now I don't have that and its kind of lonely. Anyway, I know that wasn't helpful, but I know what you mean.

Date: 2012-08-08 12:32 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] wickedcherub.livejournal.com
It's a little different because I'm married, therefore I have a default person to call up with problems you know? And most of my friends are married now, so we don't really need friends to talk to about Stuff Like That.

I think I'm mostly lonely because I spend all day with Liam and sometimes he's just not the best conversationalist :p

Date: 2012-08-08 01:19 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] skittish-derby.livejournal.com
I know it is all I ever talk about, but what about knitting? it is hugely popular and can be quite cheap depending on the yarn.

I have a really really hard time making friends too. I was here in New Hampshire for 6 months before I even attempted going out and meeting people. gah, I am so shy. but it was knitting (and ravelry.com especially) that hooked me up with other knitters and by default we have something in common, so I could have my night out without kids or anything. plus it gives me something to do with my hands and is riveting and challenging at times.

Date: 2012-08-08 09:11 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] franzi1981.livejournal.com
Ahahahahahah!!! Here I am, wanting to suggest knitting and someone already did.

Knitting helps with making friends. There's ravelry.com where there are message boards and knitting meet-ups. There's bound to be one in your area, and they're very welcoming to newcomers and very helpful - and it's usually okay to bring your child (or soon-to-be children), too!

So, seconding this :).
Edited Date: 2012-08-08 09:11 am (UTC)

Date: 2012-08-08 01:34 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] ephant.livejournal.com
I think a lot of us grow up bonding with people over boy/girl problems. Then we get into stable relationships and suddenly have less of those dramatic incidents through which we used to forge friendships.

So we end up with a bunch of people we like but nobody we have that emotional connection to or whatever.

Date: 2012-08-08 04:45 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] oohasparklie.livejournal.com
I'm struggling with that too. And I'm the only single person I know, so that doesn't help either. How am I supposed to meet someone, you know?

Congrats on Adam's new job!

Date: 2012-08-08 07:07 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] jimmyjack.livejournal.com
i woulda come to your thirtieth!

Date: 2012-08-08 10:59 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] sarahlouise.livejournal.com
To be honest, I found making new friends to be one of those things that happened when I stopped trying. It's really hard. And it takes time, especially since it sort of hits a critical mass where you meet one friend who introduces you to all theirs etc. I don't think that doing lots of new hobbies helps unless you're genuinely into the hobby. I mean, I made some new friends through horseriding, but that was because I really did like doing it, I wasn't just doing it to make new friends. And I wouldn't do it unless you really WANT to do the thing, as it's a bit of a non-scientific approach too, like you could do a bunch of hobbies and spend a heap of money and find that there was no-one there looking for new friends or similar to you anyway.

Things like book clubs and like the person above said, knitting groups could be good. They are low key & inexpensive and there is time to chat. Or if there was a meetup group in your area that was just for going out for coffee or for SAHMs or something? I'm sure there must be, there are meetup groups for everything! Meetup can be a bit hit or miss but I have met some nice people through it (and this may be a bad thing for me to say, but the girls are generally much more sociable than the guys I have met through it! So if you want girlfriends, I would give that a try). And sometimes just getting out and being around people can help even if they aren't destined to be your best friends. It's a shame your mothers' group didn't work out, that seems to be where a lot of my friends made new friends after they had babies. Is there a playgroup or something like that you could go to? You are probably only a year or two off the stage where Liam will go to kindy and stuff and then I think you'd meet people if you got involved in the committees and social life of the school.

Congrats to Adam on his new job by the way!

Date: 2012-08-09 04:01 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] mrsmdub.livejournal.com
I get the lonely.

There's a new teacher in my school and she's exactly my age, agreeable, fun...I like her,
But I'm terrified to get to know her because all of the other teachers my age are nothing like me, I'm afraid she'll be the same.

Date: 2012-08-09 05:20 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] marije.livejournal.com
I've been in Melbourne for a year and a half now and only recently starting to make friends. It always takes a few years it seems! In fact I added you on someone's suggestion, after I made a post in MM on how to meet more mum friends.

Feel free to PM me on here and I'll give you my contact details or facebook or email so we can get to know each other?

Date: 2012-08-14 08:29 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] silverthoughts.livejournal.com
You're never online when I'm online anymore! I miss you!
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