Jan. 25th, 2012

wickedcherub: (Default)
So we're back on the Trying to Conceive bandwagon. I don't want to post about it much in case it takes us forever, but I really hope it doesn't. I hate it. I hate having sex when I don't really feel like it. I hate that feeling of 'oh, we have to wait another month to try again'.

I couldn't sleep last night because I was gripped with fear that maybe I wasn't ready for another kid. The first time was easy because I didn't know what I was getting myself into but this time I'm terrified.

I'm pretty sure I want another child, my family feels like someone is missing, and I want Liam to have a sibling to play with, to fight with. I'd prefer them closer in age for a multitude of reasons. But last night I could have thrown up with how scared I was. Parenting is so hard. I can't believe it's expected that people have children - being childfree should definitely be the default life option and people should be questioned when they decide to have children.

I'm worried that I shouldn't be feeling like this. That I should be trying to conceive because I want a baby so so so bad. I feel like I should get pregnant so that I can't go back on it, and I won't have to worry about whether it's the right decision or not because it's done.

In other amazing news, last night Liam decided to go from his first wobbly steps to doing an entire lap of our house no problem, within the space of a couple of hours. I can't stop him now, he's walking everywhere. :D :D :D :D :D :D


wickedcherub: (Default)

January 2013

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